


Hey, Babe

by boredom



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-14
Updated: 2017-12-14
Packaged: 2019-02-14 20:05:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13015149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boredom/pseuds/boredom
Summary: Ukai is trying to keep his crush on a certain teacher a secret. Too bad he's terrible at keeping secrets





	Hey, Babe

Ukai felt that he was doing a pretty good job when it came to hiding his affection for a certain glasses wearing, curly-haired, absolutely cute teacher. He didn’t really know when he decided that Takeda would make the perfect husband, but it didn’t take long and soon Ukai was planning the names of their shared dogs (he had managed to question Takeda about what kinds of pets he liked and was relieved it wasn’t something weird like tarantulas). Still, it was a dangerous game he was playing, daydreaming about what he and Takeda would argue over in the grocery store, which side of the door they would put their shoes, how many of Ukai’s clothes Takeda would steal, how he would look without his glasses… and on and on and on. He couldn’t be sure that Takeda was into him, or even into men. He didn’t want to come right out and ask, risking the volleyball team’s perfect faculty advisor who would sacrifice his freetime just to make sure they had games. So Ukai resigned himself to the fact that he would have to admire Takeda from afar and maybe in three to five years finally get the courage to ask the man out on a date. 

This was easier said than done. In the store, while Takeda was nowhere to be seen, Ukai could distract himself with books (yes he had started actually reading actual books in an attempt to have something more to talk about with Takeda than just volleyball. He had even asked Takeda for suggestions, how pathetic!). However, when it came to actually interacting with Takeda at practice, and at games, and when Takeda came over to talk strategy, and when he asked Ukai to teach him how to play, and when Ukai had to drive him to the hospital because while teaching him how to play, Takeda had gotten a concussion, and when they were sharing a room on overnight trips, it was much more difficult. He didn’t blush. He kept his touches to a minimum. He most certainly did not oggle him when he came out of the shower in nothing but a pair of shorts and some water still dripping onto his bare shoulders from his hair which was still curly and sticking up all over the place despite the fact that it was wet… okay, maybe Ukai ogled him a little. 

Still, Takeda was as oblivious as ever and didn’t seem the least bit suspicious that Ukai may have had ulterior motives when he let Takeda borrow his shirt because he had forgotten his and got too cold at night to sleep without one (Ukai really almost died that night). 

“What are you thinking about?” Takeda’s voice appeared right next to Ukai’s ear.

Ukai let out a shriek and jumped from the bench, the cigarette that had been pursed between his lips falling to the ground. “Christ, babe! Don’t sneak up on people like that.” Ukai shook his head, it turned out not even the park was safe from Takeda’s incessant charm and cuteness.

Takeda blinked at him, several times. Ukai stared back. Why was Takeda staring at him? Did Ukai have something on his face? Oh God, that would be just his luck to have some sauce or something on his face, making him look even more uncool than when Takeda had scared him just a second ago.

“Did you just call me babe?” Takeda finally asked.

Ukai snorted. “No, why would I call you that?”

“You just called me babe. I heard you.”

Ukai opened his mouth to argue, because there was no way he screwed up so badly as to call his crush “babe”, however, looking back on the conversation he was 55% sure that he had, in fact, called Takeda “babe”. Okay, 85% sure. Fine, 99.99999999999% sure. 

“I, um, I call everybody babe, don’t you know?” Ukai chuckled nervously.

Takeda stared at him some more. “I don’t think you do. I’ve been out with you and your friends. Besides, it’s a bit weird for someone to call his friends babe, don’t you think?”

Crap, Ukai was caught. He was most definitely caught and he’d have to confess his love for Takeda and hoped that he was completely creeped out by the fact that Ukai had been looking into puppy adoption (The other thing he found out was that Takeda was against getting a purebred dog from a puppy mills) and had already put in an application for a one year old mastiff-lab mix named Pancake that Ukai would then use to woo Takeda even more until they eventually ran an entire dog-friendly farm (with a few cats scattered around) and every animal would be named after either famous authors or famous volleyball players and they’d get rocking chairs and sit on the porch together like some old couple who had been together for eighty years!

“Ukai,” Takeda’s voice drew him out of his panic attack. It sounded a little less grossed out and a little more… sultry. “Do you like me?” 

Now it was Ukai’s turn to stare. Who was this man and what had he done with his innocent Takeda? You know, the guy who thought the eggplant emoji just meant that Diachi and Suga were very into healthy eating and regularly coordinated recipe exchanges? 

“Um, I mean, I don’t...hate you?” Ukai asked. What was he supposed to say in this situation? What was he supposed to do? 

“I mean, it would be very embarrassing if you didn’t like me considering how I’ve been acting the past few weeks.” 

Wait, what? Ukai’s brain just short-circuited with the knowledge that Takeda may have liked him too, and may have tried to do something about it.

“Um, you’ve been acting different?” Ukai managed to squeak out.

Takeda smiled and shrugged. “Do you really think I’d forget something as important as a shirt on an overnight trip?” 

Ukai’s brain, well, what was left of it, broke even more. “I thought…”

“I mean, I didn’t really plan for you to give me your shirt, but you were blushing so much I thought I should probably take pity on you and just accept it.”

“I do not blush!” Ukai’s brain had finally snapped out of its broken loop enough for him to realize what Takeda had just said.

“Wait, you’ve been trying to get me to what? Kiss you?”

Takeda shrugged. “Kiss, hug, hold hands, have sex, you know, things people do when they’re dating.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Ukai sputtered. Takeda wanted to have sex with him. Holy crap, Takeda actually said that he wanted to go with Ukai and...have...sex….Welp, whatever part of his brain that had healed was now officially broken again.

“I thought that when you offered to teach me how to play volleyball, that was a date, but then you didn’t do anything.”

“You got a concussion! I needed to take you to the hospital!” Ukai shrieked. He was vaguely aware that they were having this conversation on a Saturday in the middle of a very public and very popular park and it would be very awkward if one of his players were to find them having this conversation. 

“Yeah, but you didn’t do anything after so I assumed you either didn’t want to date, or you were too scared to ask again.”

“Why didn’t you ask me out then?”

“What do you think last week was?” 

Last week Takeda had taken Ukai to a museum all about the history of sports. Oh, God, Takeda had taken him on dates. He had taken him on dates and Ukai was too caught up in trying not to let Takeda know that he actually wanted to go on dates that he didn’t react to any of the dates Takeda had taken him on. 

He slumped back down on the park bench, buried his head in his hands, and groaned. “We could have been dating this whole time, and I was too stupid to realize it.”

“Well,” Takeda sat next to him, their thighs pressed together, “it’s not like I'm going to die tomorrow, we can still start.” 

Damn, he had no idea Takeda was so smooth. He thought he was the one with the plan who would have to do all the work in getting Takeda to notice him. He felt a bit thrown. 

“Um, just so you know, I may have adopted a dog named Pancake in hopes that he would help me win you over.”

Takeda started laughing. “You’re not serious?”

“He’ll be here next week. He’s a mastiff-black lab mix.” God, Ukai was such an idiot, an embarrassed, head-over heels, in love idiot.

“Well, I do like dogs.” Takeda said. He turned and pecked Ukai on the cheek. “Let’s go on a proper date then, one where both of us know what’s going on.”

Despite the fact that Ukai was still very much embarrassed and very much confused as to how in the hell he had managed to land this guy who was, in all honesty, way out of his league, he turned and smiled at him. 

“I’d like that. There’s a new restaurant that opened not far from here. Want to go?”

Takeda’s fingers wove within his own. “Sounds like fun. I’ll even let you call me babe.” 

Ukai groaned. “If you keep up with this attitude, I’ll retract my offer.”

“Whatever you say, babe.”


End file.
